How Men And Women Try To Trick Each Other
Posted on May 15, 2008 - Filed Under wedding |
What is the most infamous male stereotype when it comes to dating? Certainly the one about men trying every trick in the book to get a woman to sleep with him has to head the list. No need to elaborate. There are plenty of web sites that I can refer all y’all to (regardless of gender) if you want to see how that works. As we touched upon in the last newsletter, there are plenty of “pick-up artists” specializing in helping men tune up their trickery.
The truth is, however, that men don’t necessarily have the market cornered when it comes to keeping their intentions under the table. Women are quite capable of their fair share. My belief is that the most common brand of dating trickery proffered by women tends to fly under the radar a bit easier, however, and therefore is hardly ever (if at all) called out. Since women are a bit more subtle about all of this, I’m going to focus the majority of this newsletter on understanding their side of the equation. After all, male trickery is altogether too obviouswhich continues to cause me sheer amazement at how often women fall for it.
So what about the women? What do I mean?
Here it is. Just like men try to trick women into sleeping with them way too early in the relationship, women tend to try to trick men into exclusive commitment way to early.
It’s absolutely true.
And a woman has the ability to equip herself with a formidable set of tools when it comes to this stuff. Just like a woman can find herself in a man’s bed and wonder how she got there, a man can very easily find himself in an exclusive relationship he may not have been ready for, and with a woman who may not even have been his first choice!
How does she do this? Here are some examples of the tactics involved:
1) The Ultimatum
This is the most objective approach. If a woman knows the man is interested, she will simply level an ultimatum. This may happen as soon as the woman realizes the man wants her sexually. In this case, the woman pulls every option off the table other than committing to her or walking away. This is unfair, of course, because it plays on a man’s physical attraction in order to drive emotional involvement.
2) Extended Planning
She’ll buy tickets for a concert that’s a month away. She’ll invite him to join her for some killer party that’s a few weeks (or months?) off. If she can get him to make some financial “buy in” (e.g. ticket price, renting a tux, etc.) then he’ll be more likely to stay around. In fact, the concept of commitment based on financial involvement is a well-known marketing principle. Here, as in so many facets of dating, sales tactics translate directly into relationship strategy. Watch for a future newsletter (or how about a podcast?) on that one.
3) Common Secondary Commitments
This is something like “Extended Planning”, but with a subtle difference. Here we are talking about ongoing partnerships rather than one-time events. She may sign them both up for six weeks of salsa lessons. They may join a dinner party group with other couples knowing that it would be a major embarrassment to have to sever ties in the event of a breakup. If she’s really astute, she’ll buy them season tickets for his favorite teamnice.
4) Marking Territory
As soon as a man invites a woman into his private domain, he opens himself up to the female ritual of “territory marking”. If she’s hanging out at his house and riding in his car, bear in mind the possibility that she may be interested in staking her claim to those places vis-
Tags: attraction, confidence, dating, engagement, flirting, marriage, relationships, seduction, weddingsComments
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