How to Plan Your Marriage Proposal
Posted on July 26, 2008 - Filed Under wedding
The time is right, you have the perfect ring, you get to the restaurant and it begins to rain. They don’t have valet parking and you don’t have an umbrella. You park the car and both of you make a mad dash to get into the front door just as it starts to downpour. Not a great start to what should be the most perfect night of HER life.
The moral of this story is that you should leave NO detail left to chance when you are planning to propose. How well you plan your proposal and your attention to detail may make the difference between “I’ll think about it” and a resounding YES!
I’m not going to go into a bunch of marriage proposal ideas, there are many sites on the internet full of ideas for you. What I will focus on are some key points to consider when planning how you’re going to propose.
The first thing you should consider when planning your proposal is how are you going to control the environment? When the time is right you want to be in full control of what’s happening to insure the perfect moment. The last thing you want is to be half way through your proposal and the band starts playing and drowns you out, or to find out on a rainy night that the restaurant doesn’t have valet parking.
So once you decide how you’re going to propose take the time to scope out the location and think about how you’re going to control your environment.
Secondly when planning your big moment you need to think about the ring logistics. The last thing you want is to be worried about were the ring is every moment but at the same time you want it to be safe. What ever you do, do not let that ring out of your sight. If you want to put it in a glass of champagne or something like that go to the bar with your waiter and bring the drinks back yourself. How bad would you feel if you gave up control of the ring and it didn’t come back or worst yet something of inferior quality came back?
Take the time to run through the sequence of events and how you will handle the ring during the whole event. That way you will not worry about the rings safety and your won’t tip off your soon to be bride to what’s about to happen.
Lastly think about is space. Yep space. If you’re somewhere that is tight on space you may have a problem. I can see it now, you’re in a small romantic restaurant but the tables are a little close together. You decide the time is right and you squeeze between tables to get down on one knee, she gets excited and jumps up and her chair hits the table behind her spilling wine all over the people sitting there. I think that would put a bit of a downer on the whole moment.
So take the extra time to make sure you have enough space not only for YOU to propose but for HER to react and you will have a great moment you both will remember forever
Charles Welf is the author of the a site full of Romantic Ideas. Read about Marriage Proposal Ideas and get a free eBook “101 Romantic Ideas”
Tags: engagement, marriage proposal, Proposal, wedding proposalHow Do You Know When It’s Time To Get Married
Posted on July 22, 2008 - Filed Under wedding
You’ve done everything it takes to get your own game together, and you’ve been a man or woman who deserves what you want for sometime now. In fact, you’ve found a partner as terrific as you are, and the question has inevitably surfaced: Is it time to “pop the question” around here?
I believe a lot of us really have not spent enough time ruminating upon what it really takes to consider a decision to make marriage plans. And make no mistake, my friends, this is the kind of thought that should go on long before you are ever in the position to actually act upon what you think and / or feel.
Indeed, getting engaged should never be a “knee-jerk” decision. In fact, nothing involving “jerks” of any kind should ever be a consideration.
So whether you are in a serious relationship right now or not, let’s consider the top ten signs to look for when considering marriage:
1) You are attracted to each other
First, you absolutely, positively must be sexually attracted to the object of your affection. This is NOT being shallow, as we’ve discussed previously. Don’t you appreciate how I freely endorse making this a priority? Thought so. Feel better now? LOL
2) You actually like each other
Laugh if you will, but I’ve seen first-hand how couples justify long-term relationships despite getting on each other’s nerves big time. I personally don’t get it, and if you deserve what you want I surely hope you don’t want that.
3) You’ve spent enough time together to really know each other
Let’s not talk in terms of calendar time here. If a couple is in a long-distance-relationship (LDR) for two years and see each other once a month for two days, they may see each other about as much as a couple who lives two blocks apart and has been joined at the hip since they met a month ago. When you know that you’ve seen the person at his or her most relaxed (and at his or her worst, for that matter), then and only then are you in a position to speculate regarding what the future really holds.
4) You are on the same page spiritually
Don’t underestimate the importance of this. If you believe that God should be at the center of your relationship, it can only be that way if your would-be partner agrees. If this hasn’t been talked about yet, make it a priority to do so. Even if you are both agnostic or atheist, for that matter, it’s still a good idea to discuss your world views and make sure you are in agreement on what your core beliefs are.
5) Your long-term goals are similar
If your futures are taking you in different directions, either someone is going to have to compromise, or your futures don’t have each other in them. Period.
6) You know how to play together
Sure, she goes shoe shopping while he watches the NFL. But do you know how to enjoy leisure time together? We’re not just talking about sex here? I always thought it would be amazing to find a woman who would want to go BMX racing with me. As it turns out, that wasn’t so farfetched. Couples who play together stay together.
7) You both want to be married
Do both of you really desire marriage? If you feel you are trying to persuade someone out of the single life who still wants to be there then guess whatyou are not making valuable use of your time.
The basics in your lives are handled
Are you mentally and physically healthy? Is your self-esteem in good shape? If you carry heavy concerns that consume you, it’s not time to invite someone else into your world permanently. After all, that would only give your heavy concerns someone else to consume. And that’s not part of a balanced relationship.
9) You have no doubt in your mind that your partner is committed to you as you are to him/her
Ah yesthe “trust” factor. Kill all jealousy in order to ready yourself for a committed relationship. And make darn skippy sure that’s okay to do. If there are signs your future husband or wife would cheat on you, then forgettaboutit. Really.
10) You have no doubt in your mind that you are committed to your partner as he/she is to you
Turnabout is fair play here. Are you completely sure you are trustworthy? Do you harbor fantasies about cheating on your future spouse? If you are focusing too much on someone elseespecially if that “someone else” is potentially available to you, then my suggestion is to get that resolved before feigning “commitment” to someone who would be truly committed to you.
Whether you feel you are ready for marriage or not is okay. One should never feel pressured either way. The framework for a solid marriage with a great long-term prognosis can only be established when both partners truly want to be thereand believe wholeheartedly in both the future and in each other.
After all, isn’t that what love is for?
Copyright 2006 X & Y Communications
Want to hear more? Scot McKay is a dating coach in San Antonio, TX and founder of X & Y Communications, a one-stop-shop for dating resources. He is the author of the new book “Deserve What You Want,” and hosts the popular podcast series “X & Y On The Fly.” He may be reached at scot *at* xandycommunications.net or on the Web at www.dating-advice.us/ and www.datetoorder.com/ . The podcast series is available free of charge at feeds.feedburner.com/xyonthefly .
Tags: attraction, confidence, dating, engagement, flirting, marriage, relationships, seduction, weddingsHow Men And Women Try To Trick Each Other
Posted on May 15, 2008 - Filed Under wedding
What is the most infamous male stereotype when it comes to dating? Certainly the one about men trying every trick in the book to get a woman to sleep with him has to head the list. No need to elaborate. There are plenty of web sites that I can refer all y’all to (regardless of gender) if you want to see how that works. As we touched upon in the last newsletter, there are plenty of “pick-up artists” specializing in helping men tune up their trickery.
The truth is, however, that men don’t necessarily have the market cornered when it comes to keeping their intentions under the table. Women are quite capable of their fair share. My belief is that the most common brand of dating trickery proffered by women tends to fly under the radar a bit easier, however, and therefore is hardly ever (if at all) called out. Since women are a bit more subtle about all of this, I’m going to focus the majority of this newsletter on understanding their side of the equation. After all, male trickery is altogether too obviouswhich continues to cause me sheer amazement at how often women fall for it.
So what about the women? What do I mean?
Here it is. Just like men try to trick women into sleeping with them way too early in the relationship, women tend to try to trick men into exclusive commitment way to early.
It’s absolutely true.
And a woman has the ability to equip herself with a formidable set of tools when it comes to this stuff. Just like a woman can find herself in a man’s bed and wonder how she got there, a man can very easily find himself in an exclusive relationship he may not have been ready for, and with a woman who may not even have been his first choice!
How does she do this? Here are some examples of the tactics involved:
1) The Ultimatum
This is the most objective approach. If a woman knows the man is interested, she will simply level an ultimatum. This may happen as soon as the woman realizes the man wants her sexually. In this case, the woman pulls every option off the table other than committing to her or walking away. This is unfair, of course, because it plays on a man’s physical attraction in order to drive emotional involvement.
2) Extended Planning
She’ll buy tickets for a concert that’s a month away. She’ll invite him to join her for some killer party that’s a few weeks (or months?) off. If she can get him to make some financial “buy in” (e.g. ticket price, renting a tux, etc.) then he’ll be more likely to stay around. In fact, the concept of commitment based on financial involvement is a well-known marketing principle. Here, as in so many facets of dating, sales tactics translate directly into relationship strategy. Watch for a future newsletter (or how about a podcast?) on that one.
3) Common Secondary Commitments
This is something like “Extended Planning”, but with a subtle difference. Here we are talking about ongoing partnerships rather than one-time events. She may sign them both up for six weeks of salsa lessons. They may join a dinner party group with other couples knowing that it would be a major embarrassment to have to sever ties in the event of a breakup. If she’s really astute, she’ll buy them season tickets for his favorite teamnice.
4) Marking Territory
As soon as a man invites a woman into his private domain, he opens himself up to the female ritual of “territory marking”. If she’s hanging out at his house and riding in his car, bear in mind the possibility that she may be interested in staking her claim to those places vis-
Tags: attraction, confidence, dating, engagement, flirting, marriage, relationships, seduction, weddings