Children in Weddings — Yes or No
Posted on July 23, 2008 - Filed Under wedding
Children are wonderful in weddings and often are the “scene stealers.” Generally serving as ring bearers and flower girls, they will do exactly what they want to and they will be — yes, absolutely — they will be children. Some make it down the aisle and some do not. Some walk, some run, some dance. Some make faces at the guests, some cry, some refuse to go down the aisle and some need to hold mom’s hand for courage. Regardless of what they do, they are wonderful and will almost always lend a little comic relief to the otherwise solemn ceremony.
I watched one beautiful little 3 year old flower girl place one flower petal at a time geometrically all the way down a very long aisle while people on both sides were telling her to hurry. Paying no heed, she did it her way. When she got to the front row where her mother was seated, she was obviously pleased with herself and she stood in front dancing throughout the ceremony. It was priceless and a wedding that this officiant will not forget. In another wedding the two ring bearers, each two years old, one dressed in black formal western wear and the other in a kilt, never made it down the isle but they had a wonderful time and so did everyone else who watched them. One little ring bearer announced loudly, “Mama, mama, I have to go make boats” and was quickly whisked away to the bathroom as the guests tried hard to suppress their laughter.
A WORD OF CAUTION HERE: IF you are an “up-tight” bride or groom or mother-of-the-bride who must have everything letter perfect or you will consider the whole thing a national disaster, DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN IN YOUR WEDDING. The stress of worrying about what a child will or will not do is just not worth it. But if you want a wedding that is warm and real and beautiful then let little Susie and Mary throw flowers all the way down the aisle, on the guests, or on themselves and have little Timmie be the ring bearer using the ring pillow as a ball or balancing it on his head. This is certainly not the way you practiced it at the rehearsal, but it will be special and something you will never forget.
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How Do You Know When It’s Time To Get Married
Posted on July 22, 2008 - Filed Under wedding
You’ve done everything it takes to get your own game together, and you’ve been a man or woman who deserves what you want for sometime now. In fact, you’ve found a partner as terrific as you are, and the question has inevitably surfaced: Is it time to “pop the question” around here?
I believe a lot of us really have not spent enough time ruminating upon what it really takes to consider a decision to make marriage plans. And make no mistake, my friends, this is the kind of thought that should go on long before you are ever in the position to actually act upon what you think and / or feel.
Indeed, getting engaged should never be a “knee-jerk” decision. In fact, nothing involving “jerks” of any kind should ever be a consideration.
So whether you are in a serious relationship right now or not, let’s consider the top ten signs to look for when considering marriage:
1) You are attracted to each other
First, you absolutely, positively must be sexually attracted to the object of your affection. This is NOT being shallow, as we’ve discussed previously. Don’t you appreciate how I freely endorse making this a priority? Thought so. Feel better now? LOL
2) You actually like each other
Laugh if you will, but I’ve seen first-hand how couples justify long-term relationships despite getting on each other’s nerves big time. I personally don’t get it, and if you deserve what you want I surely hope you don’t want that.
3) You’ve spent enough time together to really know each other
Let’s not talk in terms of calendar time here. If a couple is in a long-distance-relationship (LDR) for two years and see each other once a month for two days, they may see each other about as much as a couple who lives two blocks apart and has been joined at the hip since they met a month ago. When you know that you’ve seen the person at his or her most relaxed (and at his or her worst, for that matter), then and only then are you in a position to speculate regarding what the future really holds.
4) You are on the same page spiritually
Don’t underestimate the importance of this. If you believe that God should be at the center of your relationship, it can only be that way if your would-be partner agrees. If this hasn’t been talked about yet, make it a priority to do so. Even if you are both agnostic or atheist, for that matter, it’s still a good idea to discuss your world views and make sure you are in agreement on what your core beliefs are.
5) Your long-term goals are similar
If your futures are taking you in different directions, either someone is going to have to compromise, or your futures don’t have each other in them. Period.
6) You know how to play together
Sure, she goes shoe shopping while he watches the NFL. But do you know how to enjoy leisure time together? We’re not just talking about sex here? I always thought it would be amazing to find a woman who would want to go BMX racing with me. As it turns out, that wasn’t so farfetched. Couples who play together stay together.
7) You both want to be married
Do both of you really desire marriage? If you feel you are trying to persuade someone out of the single life who still wants to be there then guess whatyou are not making valuable use of your time.
The basics in your lives are handled
Are you mentally and physically healthy? Is your self-esteem in good shape? If you carry heavy concerns that consume you, it’s not time to invite someone else into your world permanently. After all, that would only give your heavy concerns someone else to consume. And that’s not part of a balanced relationship.
9) You have no doubt in your mind that your partner is committed to you as you are to him/her
Ah yesthe “trust” factor. Kill all jealousy in order to ready yourself for a committed relationship. And make darn skippy sure that’s okay to do. If there are signs your future husband or wife would cheat on you, then forgettaboutit. Really.
10) You have no doubt in your mind that you are committed to your partner as he/she is to you
Turnabout is fair play here. Are you completely sure you are trustworthy? Do you harbor fantasies about cheating on your future spouse? If you are focusing too much on someone elseespecially if that “someone else” is potentially available to you, then my suggestion is to get that resolved before feigning “commitment” to someone who would be truly committed to you.
Whether you feel you are ready for marriage or not is okay. One should never feel pressured either way. The framework for a solid marriage with a great long-term prognosis can only be established when both partners truly want to be thereand believe wholeheartedly in both the future and in each other.
After all, isn’t that what love is for?
Copyright 2006 X & Y Communications
Want to hear more? Scot McKay is a dating coach in San Antonio, TX and founder of X & Y Communications, a one-stop-shop for dating resources. He is the author of the new book “Deserve What You Want,” and hosts the popular podcast series “X & Y On The Fly.” He may be reached at scot *at* xandycommunications.net or on the Web at www.dating-advice.us/ and www.datetoorder.com/ . The podcast series is available free of charge at feeds.feedburner.com/xyonthefly .
Tags: attraction, confidence, dating, engagement, flirting, marriage, relationships, seduction, weddingsTo Speak or Not to Speak
Posted on July 19, 2008 - Filed Under wedding
The wedding speech or speeches, are they necessary? If you choose to have a wedding speech or two at your wedding there are some things to think about first.
A wedding speech can be a lovely and meaningful addition to the wedding or the wedding speech can be embarrassing and less than welcomed. When deciding on the wedding speech begin by considering who you might want to give the wedding speech or speeches.
Often the best man and maid of honor or matron of honor will give a wedding speech. This can be perfectly fine but it may be a good idea to discuss this plan with each of these folks first. How many times have you been at a wedding and it is time for the wedding speech and you are expecting to hear something appropriate and maybe even touching? Instead the person giving the wedding speech starts talking about past girlfriends of the groom, drinking antics or other really unsavory escapades enjoyed by the newly married bride or groom. Is this the type of wedding speech anyone wants to hear?
Then there is the wedding speech that has never seen the light of day before the very moment it is give. Everyone in the room realizes the person giving the wedding speech has not spent a single minute planning or thinking about the wedding speech before the words began tumbling out of the speech-givers mouth.
Sometimes a wedding speech is given by every single member of the wedding party. It is often evident that most people in the wedding party had no idea that they were going to be asked to give a wedding speech.
If you would like to avoid these wedding speech mistakes you should make sure every wedding speech giver is well aware that they will be addressing the group gathered at the wedding or reception. Those really serious about appropriate and well-planned wedding speeches could also request that any wedding speech giver writes down what they plan to say. This gives the bride and groom a chance to read the wedding speech before the ceremony and make suggestions or omissions.
Do not hesitate to set some guidelines for any wedding speech that will be given at your wedding. It is a special day and one that does not need to be tainted by an inappropriate wedding speech.
Craig Thornburrow is an Author and Business Owner. Find all you need to know about Weddings at http://www.theworldsbestwedding.com
Tags: wedding speech, weddings keep looking »